By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize