suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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