Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
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He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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