My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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