Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
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My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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