She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize