i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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