No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
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