Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize