i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
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And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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