Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize