this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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