ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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