I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize