i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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