Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize