i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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