i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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