I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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