How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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