Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize