with your own penis?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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