the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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