That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize