you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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