You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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