I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize