i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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