i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize