If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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