do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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