Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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