You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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