Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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