Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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