this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So squirting runs in the family.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize