i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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