hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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