Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize