Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize