another moral hangover. fuck.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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