Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize