he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize