Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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