just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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