Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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