I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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