I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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