Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
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I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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