if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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